I realized recently that while I’ve shared snippets of my own story here and there, I’ve never shared the full thing in all its glory. And, on top of being asked about why I became a dietitian constantly, I also think there’s a lot to learn from my own story too. So, here goes!
I want to start by encouraging you to read fully through the end of my story. Like many people who struggled with their eating habits, a lot of what led me to finally become a dietitian were my initial unhealthy habits. I do not want you thinking that these unhealthy choices are the way to go. So please, read through until the end to see what I recommend and what actual healthy eating habits look like.
My story started in high school
My story began during my sophomore year of high school. I clearly remember the moment when I was at the pool with friends and realized that many of them were in bikinis while I was in a tankini (side note: can we bring back the tankini?!). I started to feel self-conscious. I decided then and there that I need to get skinny like them.
The problem though: I had no clue how to go about doing that. It’s important for me to point out that this was during the early 2000’s. During this time, low-fat foods and diets were all the rage. Whereas now – thankfully – we’re starting to respect all bodies and being strong instead of “skinny,” at that time, “skinny” was a very idealized word. Skinny was the goal.
And so, I decided to try to get skinny. I drastically decreased what I ate. Luckily, while I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, I can also confidently tell you that I did not eat enough. I skipped meals and then binged on leftover Shabbat dinner at my friend’s house on Friday nights. I don’t think it’s helpful to share details of my eating habits, so I’ll leave it at this: it wasn’t enough. And it wasn’t healthy.
Initially, I lost some weight. It worked, until it didn’t.
Not eating enough does not work
When I started college, I also started rapidly gaining weight. It felt like every week, yet a new pair of jeans wouldn’t fit and I’d have to go up another size again. I ended up gaining about 30 pounds in 3 months.
On top of that, I felt like crap physically. I was constantly cold, always tired and my mood was generally low. Finally, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. This diagnosis explained a lot – the intolerance to cold, the fatigue, low mood and weight gain – but, it was not the whole picture. I am 100% positive that the fact that I jeopardized my body and metabolism by not eating enough for years also played a large role in my consequent weight gain.
It’s important for me to quickly address my hypothyroidism: I started taking Synthroid – which I’ve been on for 12 years now – and my thyroid regulated. I know how easy it is to blame your thyroid when you’re struggling with your weight. If you think that might be the case, go to a doctor and get bloodwork. Don’t guess or Google random sh*t online. The idea of “healing your thyroid” on your own naturally is BS. Additionally, while I’m all for natural remedies when you can, I cannot stress enough the importance of Western medicine when you do have a thyroid condition. In this case, medication is needed to regulate your thyroid hormone.
Anyway, starting thyroid medication helped me to stop gaining weight, but it did not automatically make me lose the weight I gained. Instead, I decided to resort to old eating habits: I tried the most insane and ridiculous diets you could think of. None of them worked.
Finally, at the end of my freshman year of college, I saw a dietitian. I’ll be honest, because I reference this dietitian often: I actually didn’t love her (the irony!). But, she taught me something very important: that we need to eat enough in order to be healthy. Undereating does not work nor does it benefit us in any way.
Slowly, that summer, I started to incorporate more foods into my and eat more healthfully. I stopped restricting so much. I lost about 15 of the 30 pounds I had gained – which was where my body was comfortable being for the rest of college.
I’ll be totally honest: during college I still struggled with body image a lot. Not losing the rest of that weight often made me feel insecure. But, at that point, I was also starting to learn an important lesson in not restricting what I ate in order to manipulate my body.
After college, I immediately started graduate school for Clinical Nutrition at New York University. I found it so interesting. I never considered myself a science person, but learning about biochemistry and organic chemistry as they related to nutrients and the body were so interesting to me. I loved those classes.
On top of that, during this time, I also learned much more about what a healthy, balanced diet looked like. It was during this time that I started cooking much more. I started eating more vegetables. I realized that having a Reese’s holiday egg on a Tuesday afternoon would not immediately make me gain weight or become unhealthy (true story). And over time, I naturally ended up losing those final 15 pounds from college.
Disclaimer: our bodies are smart. When you learn to listen to your body, it will naturally crave nutrient-dense foods, while also still wanting “fun foods” some of the time too. Depending on your history with food and your weight, you might gain weight. You might lose weight. Or, your weight might not change at all. What I can guarantee though is that your body will go where it’s most naturally and healthfully comfortable being. Regardless of your weight, this is something worth exploring.
The more comfortable I became with my eating habits, the more comfortable I also became with my body. I started to think about my food choices less and less: deciding what to eat became less of an internal battle and more of a mission to a) fuel my body and b) feel satisfied. I began to understand that an entire day without any veggies or a day of eating only French fries and cookies were not detrimental to my health. It was the whole picture that mattered.
Of course, there were (and are) still days when I’d look in the mirror and not like the way I looked, but instead of letting it ruin my day, I decided not to let it get to me. If I needed to buy jeans in a bigger size, it was no big deal (size means nothing anyway). These are such important lessons that I wish I could (and try!) to teach everyone.
My journey was not linear and it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when I reached that aha moment of food freedom. It took years to get there, and was something that gradually improved the more that I put it into practice over time.
What my journey taught me
I think my journey is similar to many people’s: unfortunately, many of us start out having unhealthy relationships with food before reaching a point of food freedom. However, my journey taught me 2 very important things: that healthy eating should be easy and that all foods can fit. These 2 points are the framework for all of the work I do now.
The more that I realized these 2 facts for myself, the more determined I felt to teach them to other people. Healthy eating does not need to involve fancy foods, expensive supplements or obscure ingredients. It should not be stressful. And it should include all foods. Because in order for your diet to be sustainable long term, it needs to include your favorite foods.
We have to eat every single day, so it’s super important for me to teach these simple – yet crucial – facts to others. I wanted to help prevent people from going through years of restriction and self-consciousness. And I wanted to help others find food freedom that could positively enrich their lives in so many ways. Nutrition is so important, and it’s important for me to teach others the simple concepts that I wish I knew in high school and college. There can, and should, be so much more to life than obsessing over food.
3 lessons for you
While I don’t think my own story is groundbreaking by any means, I do want to use it to share 3 important lessons with you. Becoming a dietitian – and everything I experienced leading up to it – taught me so many valuable lessons. If you take nothing else away from my story, please let it be these 3 things:
1) Undereating is never the answer.
I cannot stress this enough: undereating is never the answer.
I know that when you’re feeling down for any reason, controlling what you eat can feel like something that’s in your power to control. But undereating is never a good solution.
Undereating can slow your resting metabolic rate (AKA your metabolism). It causes you to constantly think about food. Eventually, those thoughts start to become all-consuming and start to control you. Instead of giving you control, undereating is actually a way of letting food control your life.
Make sure that you’re eating enough in order to nourish yourself and fuel your body. There is no upside not to.
2) Seek out a professional.
And on that note… if undereating or constant thoughts about food are things you relate to, please, seek out a professional to work with (AKA a Registered Dietitian).
I know that it’s easier to look things up online or on Instagram. I get how appealing it is when an influencer that looks pretty tells you to eat what she eats. But everyone is different. Not only are these people not experts in nutrition, but they also cannot tell you what works for you.
We all have different needs and different approaches that work best for each of us. For this reason, no matter what you read online, the best advice that you can get is personalized advice from a dietitian. For me personally, seeing a dietitian was what finally made me understand what my body needed. It’s what changed my course from undereating to eventual food freedom.
Find a dietitian to work with who can help give you personalize advice to reach your own specific goals, no matter what they are. If you’d like to work with me, you can sign up to join my waitlist here. Or, to find a dietitian near you, check out the “find an expert” feature on eatright.org.
3) Food freedom is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Again, I know how appealing it is to want to follow the next fad diet. I get that “all foods fit” doesn’t sound like as much of a magic pill as “keto” or “whole 30.” But it’s better.
It sounds scary to include all foods into your diet at first, but truly, I can’t even explain how amazing you’ll feel once you do. Instead of trying to explain, I’ll quote a client who finally stopped restricting after years of doing so and now has more energy, feels less bloated and isn’t constantly thinking about food. She told me that right now she feels “the best she’s ever felt.”
There’s so much more to life than food rules. Your life will be enriched in so many ways by allowing space for things more meaningful than “I should have a salad” or “I’m so bad for eating that.” Through Instagram (LINK) and this blog, I try to show you that in every way I can. But, you won’t truly understand how great that feels until you try it for yourself.
If my story shows you anything, I hope it shows you how much simpler my life became when I stopped letting thoughts about and my body run my mind. I promise you: finding that same food freedom is worth it.
Want to learn more about simple, healthy eating and food freedom? Check out All Foods Fit, my membership program with 12 lessons to teach you everything you need to know in simple, realistic ways.
